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Something Light, VI

What would be my motive for lying? There’s no monetization, no subscribers or followers, no public view counter, and no reason to clout-chase on my blog. If you think you’re smart, I know what you’re thinking, “Beau, you talk about your personal life a lot. If hip hop’s favorite podcaster is alluding to your personal life, he’s getting the information from you.” Well, smart guys, if that’s how you’re thinking, try thinking about everything else that would be going on in my life—things that I wouldn’t or haven’t divulged on the blog. Obviously, the things that I disclose here aren’t the only things going on in my life. Case in point, I recently dropped a lot of weight. Nearly my entire adult life, I was stocky and muscular. But now, I have more of an athletic build. When I visited my mom’s house not too long ago, my mom’s husband said, “Hey, go fix him a sandwich.” My mom’s husband thinks he’s a comedian, and he always finds something to bust my balls about. When my mom asked me what I’d been doing to get lean, I told her “walking and doing push-ups.” Anyway, guess who I took with me to visit my mom’s house—my young aunt. And she heard my mom’s husband joking about my new athletic build, as well as my mom asking me about my workout regimen. Well, if you refer to episode 745 of hip hop’s favorite podcast, pay very close attention to what hip hop’s favorite podcaster says when he’s talking about Ice Spice’s weight loss. Again, this shit has been going on for well over a year—the “coincidences.” Yes, I’m suggesting that my young aunt talked about our visit to my mom’s house with my 52-year-old aunt, and she relayed the details to you know who. If you don’t know, all devices connected to the internet have unique identifiers that specify the device and the device’s location. Additionally, those identifiers can be used to track the device’s internet activity. So, let’s say you connect to a secret livestream, and that stream uses a cellular network to transmit data. Not only can the livestream data transmissions be traced, but so can the devices that connect to that stream. With that being said, if your device ever connected to an illegal spy cam or listening device, you are officially a criminal! While we’re at it, let’s say you’ve spied on someone having sex or masturbating. In that case, the crime then becomes sexually-related. Other bald-headed-ass nigga, what’s up?! If you watch hip hop’s favorite podcast, you should be able to discern that, intellectually and maturity wise, those motherfuckers are children compared to me. And if you read my blog regularly, you should understand why a well-known podcaster would try his damndest to recruit me. Be honest, do you think my personality and mentality would mesh well with goofy-ass niggas? Do I strike you as the type of person who would want to sit around and argue about nothing with niggas that I don’t like as an occupation? If you’re skeptical about the validity of my claims, just do this simple thing—think. Of course, someone who makes the top of a magazine’s ranking list and gets a few hundred-thousand views on YouTube every episode is going to feel like nobody would reject him. Plus, with hip hop’s favorite podcaster being a bitch-ass nigga, being rejected by someone—Beau Amoureux—who everyone recognizes as the next big thing is going to hurt his feelings. Not only that, I’ve been flaming that fruitcake for a while now—because he’s weird as fuck and disrespectful—and now he’s vengeful. Just so y’all know, I’m committed to telling the truth, and their ain’t a human on this planet who can stop me! I know that I’m the realest, most intelligent person that many of you have come across. And I’m too real and too intelligent to ever want to befriend or do business with fake-ass, stupid-ass niggas—and I stand on that!

If you wanted revenge on someone who you feel has slighted you, the easiest thing for you to do in an attempt to get your lick back would be to attack the things that you believe that person cherishes the most. For me, as I’ve proclaimed profusely, that’s my peace and privacy—hence motherfuckers trying to disrupt those things. It makes perfect sense to never talk about or hint at crimes that you’re committing or have committed, because crimes are illegal and punishable by law. Has playing stupid ever worked for you? If you were in this situation, in hip hop’s favorite podcaster’s position, and you thought I was crazy, wouldn’t you contact the authorities? I mean, ostensibly—from my perspective—the only reason not to contact the authorities in this situation would be to prevent them from discovering the crimes that you’re committing. My criminal record is basically spotless, I have no history of mental health issues, and I don’t bother motherfuckers unless they fuck with me. And the only reason to take this situation lightly would be if you thought you knew something about me, or if you’re just plain old fucking stupid. Like, let’s say you were surveilling me and you haven’t witnessed me doing anything that would indicate I’m criminally-minded. Or perhaps, it’s possible that you’ve communicated with people who think they know me and they’ve suggested that I’m harmless. I’m not saying that those are bad things, I’m only highlighting the possible logic behind seemingly attempting to keep this all under wraps. I know that many of y’all aren’t stupid, and if intelligence recognizes intelligence like real recognizes real, then I’m sure we’re on the same page. Do you think podcasts, as a collective, will last much longer in the content space? Like I mentioned before, I’m disinclined to watch content that doesn’t involve women. And a few days ago, YouTube recommended me a podcast called “Mirrored Minds,” and it’s obvious that the two chicks on that podcast were heavily influenced—to a weird degree—by “Pour Minds.” And how ironic is it for those ladies to call their parody of a podcast “Mirrored Minds,” as they’re mirroring another podcast? Maybe they’re affiliated with Pour Minds and I’m unaware, but this shit ain’t even funny at this point. I’m a proponent of entrepreneurship, but I’m a bigger promoter of individualism. If you’re going to have a mind, why not have a mind of your own? The way that people self-deprecate these days is a dazzling demonstration of their obsession with other people’s opinions. Self-deprecating is healthy and can be a sign of sanity. But I can tell that people are talking down on themselves a lot more presently because they’re anticipating negative comments and reactions to them and their actions, and they want to beat people to the punch. Again, please stop giving a fuck about people—it’s impeding your ability to be confident. And if your confidence solely derives from compliments, I regret to inform you that you’ll probably always hate yourself. Negativity can come from many places. Weak-ass people can be negative because they’re insecure, immature, or both. For example, a person can see you and think, “If I had that flaw, I’d never be confident, so ain’t no way they’re as confident as they appear.” If you aren’t confident, that’s a personal problem that doesn’t have anything to do with what you perceive as other people’s flaws. Focus on strengthening your mind, but that strength will never come from negativity or offending other people. I mention this, in this post especially, because hip hop’s favorite podcaster is irrefutably insecure to an immense degree. And that’s evidenced by his unmasked unhappiness, protruding pessimism, and discernible despondency. Sir, it’s your fault that you hate yourself, so stop taking it out on everyone who you believe is more content and confident than you! When I’m ready, I’m going to hold up this mirror and show you exactly who you are, and not even you will be able to overlook the glaring ghastliness of your reflection! You miserable motherfucker! Peace.

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