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Everybody’s Stupid, CLXXIII

Tiny trigger warning! How much do you trust humans? Pedophilia is almost universally regarded as one of the most heinous crimes that a human can commit, with “almost” being the operative word. All across the world, especially in Africa and parts of Asia, to this day, young girls are forced into marriage. And within those forced marriages, being of child-bearing age means that pregnancies typically take place immediately after the union is finalized. Additionally, in places like Cambodia, Colombia, Thailand, Brazil, etc., child prostitution is a major attraction for tourists. Why would anyone ever expect for people to tell the truth about their taboo fetishes? Of course, people with a little bit of sense are always going to profess that their sexual desires are totally normal. I’m going to be honest, per usual. I was a very curious kid, and I prayed for a freaky-ass babysitter growing up. I fantasized about teachers, cashiers, librarians, celebrities, and just random adult women when I was underage. Again, people are full of shit. One of my most viewed posts from a while ago was based on the prevalence and popularity of “barely legal” and family-themed porn. In said post, I directed readers to visit Pornhub and read the video titles on the main page as they scroll to the bottom. If you do that, you’ll see a lot of familial-based nouns, like “mom,” “sis,” “bro,” “dad,” etc., and I asserted that those videos are shown first because they’re the most searched and highest viewed. Please, don’t shoot the messenger, just acknowledge and accept the message. And the message is, motherfuckers be lyin’! I watch a lot of female-produced videos on YouTube. Many of my recommended videos on Google’s flagship platform are try-on hauls, where women are basically naked and modeling transparent clothing, but they provide a disclaimer at the beginning of each video that states the content isn’t meant for sexual gratification—which keeps said videos from getting flagged and removed. So, essentially, there’s softcore porn on YouTube now. Last week, YouTube started recommending breastfeeding videos. And one of the videos shows an African woman with massive jugs seemingly pretending to breastfeed a little nigga that had to be like six years old, and he was tearing that titty up! How many of your feelings are genuine? In my opinion, a lot of outrage is pretended. For the record, I don’t trust humans at all! I don’t trust anything that you motherfuckers say or do because, like I keep highlighting, honesty isn’t trendy. When you think about it, everything established is a trend in a sense. If trends are tendencies, and they’re made common by their universality, then everything that’s commonly practiced can be considered trendy. At the end of the day, people can’t handle the truth. Without question, many of you are frightened by talks about taboo fetishes because you’re insecure about your freakiness and you start internalizing people’s pretended outrage against it every time the topic is brought up. If you tell me I’m lying, I’m going to throw that claim right back at you. You fake-ass, lying-ass motherfuckers! I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. Because for everybody to maintain that they’re so real, all they do to show it is hate and judge. Back in the early-90s, singer and sex symbol D’Angelo pursued a romantic relationship with soul sista Angie Stone, who was 12 years his senior. Subsequently, the couple conceived a little D’Angelo, Jr. Needless to say, their adult relationship was considered controversial because of the 12-year age difference. Humans, for the zillionth time, shut the fuck up, mind your fucking business, and get a motherfucking life! There’s so much freaky-ass shit you could be doing to enjoy yourself, but you would rather allow liars to scare you away from happiness and bliss, just for those phony-ass motherfuckers to go do all the freaky-ass shit that they claim is disgusting and disgraceful behind closed doors! Majority of the time, if you know you’re lying, you know they’re lying.

The nerdiest motherfuckers in the world are known to grab an assault rifle and take out entire crowds of people, but y’all still think you’re safe while antagonizing people who you believe don’t seem confrontational. Make that make sense! As a sane, proud, and unabashed introvert, I honestly empathize with everyone who hates people. And I love to point out how bullies are the most uneasy, unconfident, and unstable people in society. All bullies always feel like they have something to prove, and that’s because they’re tormented by the thought of people sensing or exposing their debilitating insecurities. There’s nothing fearless about picking on people who you’re sure can’t beat you in a fight or argument, and bullies never pick on anyone their own size. I was a small kid, so of course niggas would try me from time to time. But I would always walk away, and I’ve thankfully never been beat up. Again, I had far more female bullies than male bullies. I was never scrawny and I was always strong, but I never played sports in school. I would play basketball with the homies after school from time to time, but I was never that into it. By the time I was 16, I was doing 100 push-ups in a row like it was nothing. I was 16 in 2003, and I was heavily inspired to get buff by 50 Cent’s “Many Men” video. By the time I was 17, my physique resembled 50’s, but I had a slight belly. I spent a lot of time working out when I was young, and I was nicknamed “Swole” by some of the niggas that I never hung out with in my neighborhood as a young adult. My introversion kicked in heavily after I decided to kick heathenism. I don’t mean heathenism as a religion, but more so as acts of modest madness. My trial and error phase didn’t last very long because I’m intelligent, but let’s just say mistakes were made and a time was had. Anyhoo, let’s get back to bullies. What level of repetitive negativity and habitual hatred would you consider bullying? Like, let’s say someone has a podcast, and they’re constantly critically criticizing people who’ve expressed their contempt for them, but they don’t care. Would you deem that person a bully? Better yet, do you think it’s wrong to hate hateful people? Diverging slightly, how many people would you say truly know you? There are boundary-crossing people in my life, who’ve I’ve never even been that close to, who swear they know the flavor of my Kool-Aid. But even if that were true, and they had every possible detail, how would that not work in reverse? How the fuck could you know me so well without me knowing you just as well?! Delusion is confusing as fuck, ain’t it? Motherfuckers, shit will never be just one way. And said shit will especially never only be your way! But I digress. In positive news, Kamala Harris’ chance at a victory in the upcoming presidential election is looking more promising every minute. It seems like the current VP’s party members and constituents are undoubtedly enthused by her candidacy, including me, and I can’t wait to tap her name on the screen in November. In my opinion, not voting in this year’s election is an act of heathenism! What if refusing to vote became a crime for everyone over the age of 18? If you don’t believe that’s possible in America, you’re undeniably the type of motherfucker who believes not voting by preference makes sense. I’m introverted as fuck, but I’m “outside” and up in arms whenever the heat is on—if you catch my drift. To be clear, to everyone who isn’t in the picture, as an introvert, I spend the vast majority of my time at home—chilling. My heathen days are long gone and almost forgotten. But just a little advice, never taunt a lounging lion on no goofy-ass hyena shit! And oh yeah, “checkmate.” Peace.

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