Ah, “The Slap”—the gift that keeps on giving. I just watched Chris Rock’s most recent stand-up comedy special, Selective Outrage, where he finally addressed the five-finger stinger that put him through the wringer. I didn’t catch the live debut of the special on Netflix, because I’m cheap and I don’t pay for shit that I can watch for free online. And I didn’t even know the live event was taking place. I was made aware of the special’s release by short, bootlegged video snippets of Chris satisfyingly backbiting the bitter, bald-headed bitch who reputedly instigated the well-performed, highly orchestrated smack attack that took place during the 94th Academy Awards back on March 27, 2022. Overall, I give Selective Outrage a 6.5 out of 10. Some of the jokes fell flat for me, but Chris’ central objective was clear throughout the set. I agree with a lot of comedians’ contentious views and perspectives, because all of the best comedians are as aware, realistic, perceptive, witty, and uninhibited as me. Comedy is conventionally considered a catharsis for its performers and its fans, and it’s an evocative art form that inevitably evokes thought. Many of the world’s greatest storytellers are barefaced stand-up comedians who unabashedly use the worst experiences of their lives to teach their audiences valuable lessons. Aside from the ritualistic and anticipated embellishment and exaggeration in joke-telling, stand-up comedy is real, raw, and rarely involves acting. Persistence and perseverance are words used to describe the actions and characteristics of people who refuse to give up despite the obstacles and opposition they are perpetually faced with. And again, all great comedians possess pronounced levels of resilience and determination. For example, Chris’ refusal to delay his world tour after The Slap (a tour which started and sold out most locations immediately after The Slap) was characteristic of perseverance. Similarly, Chris Rock, Will Smith, and Jada Pinkett continuously refusing to admit that The Slap was a staged hoax is a mutual act of persistence. No, I still don’t believe The Slap was real! You see, much like the parties involved in The Slap, I can persist and persevere with the best of them! I’m the type of person who prefers the long game over a quick lick. So, naturally, I understand that patience is akin to persistence and perseverance. Eventually, somebody involved in that travesty is going to fuck up and reveal their hand. And I’ll be waiting!
Chris Rock outlines selective outrage as the self-righteous nitpicking and hypocritical flip-flopping that most people participate in but deny they’re guilty of. I recently watched Rush Hour 2 on Tubi, one of my favorite apps because it’s free, and there’s a running joke in the movie where each of the two main characters threaten to slap each other. First, Chris Tucker’s character threatens to “bitch-slap” Jackie Chan’s character “back to Bangkok”. Later, Jackie Chan’s character returns the insult by threatening to “bitch-slap” Chris Tucker’s character “back to Africa”. And I couldn’t help but to wonder how many people were offended by one affront but not the other. Of course, Jackie Chan is Chinese and Chris Tucker is black. By the way, when did people start capitalizing black when referring to niggas? Anyway, we all know that telling African-Americans to “go back to Africa” is a hackneyed racist snub. But the same provocation can be hurled at all of America’s majority immigrant population! Technically, only Native-Americans are native to America. Which arouses the question, how can a person pass an elementary school social studies class and be a racist?! At minimum, social studies taught me that Europeans used Native-Americans to learn the lay of the land and survival tactics, then they sabotaged Native-Americans with contaminated blankets, after which Europeans enslaved and went to war with Native-Americans. Europeans were a bunch of pussy-ass bitches who couldn’t hunt, cook, forage, build shelters, make clothing, or survive without help! To make it even more fucked-up, those soft-ass motherfuckers wore high heels and wigs and shit! After the Native-Americans taught Europeans how to live like men, a lot of those dependent, effeminate settlers birthed rugged, rebellious cowboys. But to add insult to injury, the whole cowboy culture derived from the Spaniards who settled in Mexico and southern America and immediately started farming and breeding horses. The Spaniards were also responsible for the Europeans freeing Native-American slaves to replace with kidnapped Africans. So, “crackers” ain’t did shit but rape, pillage, oppress, and appropriate cultures since they brought their punk-asses to America! But like I said in the last blog post, never take anybody’s word for anything! Fuck what the teachers taught you, forget all the bullshit your relatives indoctrinated you with, and do your own fucking research. And when you discover the truth, you’ll be like me, and hate everybody opposed to being selective with your hatred.
I think it’s hard to not be a hypocrite when everything you’ve been taught and all your experiences suggest that the popular opinion, be it accurate or inaccurate, is the safest way to go. In my opinion, duplicity is pervasive in society because individuality is both frowned upon and appropriated. Whenever something discrete and distinctive is presented to the masses, they immediately disregard the originator and make it a trend. The first person to do something is always regarded as odd or bizarre! This is one of those things that we all think about a lot, and nobody really understands it, but we all know that talking about it will never make it stop. Being genuinely unique and having unpopular opinions are generally met with rejection. And there’s a big difference between standing out and being singled out. Going against the grain requires measures of fortitude and durability that most people are simply incapable of. For instance, me realizing that everybody’s stupid necessitates my unyielding willingness to stand alone. I don’t give a fuck about people! For example, there could be a million stupid motherfuckers, all at once, telling me that I’m horrible writer, but why would I listen to that bullshit?! Firstly, even if I was a bad writer, I understand that practice makes perfect. So, the more I write, the better I’ll get. Secondly, the only thing a hater or a naysayer has to gain from telling me that I’m a terrible writer is my discouragement, which will never fucking happen. Thirdly, Kazaam and Last Action Hero are two of my favorite childhood movies that a lot of people hate. So, everything obviously ain’t for everybody, right? Now, take all of that and apply it to anything. Why should you give a fuck? What do your opposers have to gain from their opposition? What purpose does another motherfucker’s opinion serve in your life? How can you live a fulfilled life if you’re afraid to be yourself? Every issue that we face has a whole list of underlying conditions underpinning it. Those conditions are not always manifest, which makes it difficult for us to devise solutions to our issues. As far as hypocrisy goes, I believe it’s just part of the big lie. When people want to be a part of something, they adopt and adapt. They adopt popular opinions and adapt to the changes comprised in those opinions. So, with that in mind, how much of YOUR selective outrage is a result of you following the crowd?!