FYI, you’re about to be annoyed. You don’t have to pay much attention to people to see why conflict is so prevalent. How often does someone attempt to convince you of your feelings about something, while you’re rebutting their claims, as if they can read your mind or some shit? I don’t mean to project my feelings onto you, but I assume a stupid motherfucker’s impertinence pisses you off as much as it pisses me off, right? Unfortunately, there’s nothing more manipulative and persuasive than insistence and persistence. And there’s a lot of obscurity, ambiguity, and dubiety in everyday intercourse, which continues conflict and confusion. What does education mean to you? For the umpteenth time, I’m a high school dropout. And to reiterate, I’ve never been ashamed to admit it because I’m smarter than motherfuckers, obviously. In my opinion, to believe that sitting in a classroom is the only way to learn is equivalent to believing a nine-to-five is the only way to get paid. When you allow people to dictate how you feel about things, you never know how you genuinely feel about anything. That’s why I preach individualism and isolation so much. Not to promote loneliness and low spirits, but to encourage mental fortitude and self-reliance. In my opinion, a lot of people’s trauma and anxiety could be assuaged if they embraced themselves fully—without ambivalence. Admittedly, as a young man, I was manipulated many times by people who exploited my care and concern for them. Manipulation can be as seemingly harmless as someone pouting or sulking when you tell them no, in efforts to sway your emotions about the situation in their favor. And when people are accustomed to capitulating and acquiescing, they have a tendency to manipulate others to mollify their own anxiety about being controlled. If you seriously sat down and thought about how much you have in common with the people you judge and discriminate against, you’d realize how misunderstood everyone is. From my perspective, people often have trouble empathizing with others because they refuse to acknowledge that they’re just as defective and deficient as everyone else. At some point, I hope people get tired of being told about themselves so they can accept that they’re permanently imperfect. Once that happens, everyone can stop lying about their perfectly normal doubt and uncertainty, work on having more self-confidence, stop projecting their fear of reality by spewing hatred, and move the fuck forward. Honestly, are you afraid of thinking for yourself? If so, is it because you don’t want to be disagreed with? Do you dread being ridiculed for making mistakes or being wrong? I believe a lot of people follow the crowd and join the consensus because they don’t want to be left out. Once again, the desire to be accepted is natural for sensitive people, and we’re all sensitive to different degrees. Almost always, people pleasers appease in hopes that their charitable nature will be appreciated and rewarded with reciprocation. And many times, people pleasers are exploited by people who don’t reciprocate because exploiters believe they’re going to be exploited if they become a people pleaser. And remember, people pleasers frequently become exploiters when they’re burdened by the guilt of being a pushover and they want retribution. Everybody who runs away from their feelings does it to protect said feelings. But as a result of people’s fear of having their feelings hurt, nobody trusts anyone, and everyone who puts themselves out on the limb gets hung from it. What I’m saying is, stay the fuck off that limb! Part of having an independent mindset is possessing the ability to free yourself from the charge of iniquity by demonstrating how you deal with your problems independently. In other words, motherfuckers can’t blame you for their problems if you were never involved. Once you obligate yourself to something or someone, you’re liable for the fault of failure if you neglect to deliver what you promised. Without an obligation, any ill feelings toward your refusal to participate are unwarranted. Don’t stress yourself out over other people’s shit, don’t let people stress you out over their shit, stay out of shit, and think for yourself!
Speaking of manipulation, retired rapper and former co-owner of The Source magazine, Benzino, recently appeared on Drink Champs—a podcast where the guests are encouraged to get drunk during discourse—and he got fucking toasted. People are upset that the showrunners, rapper N.O.R.E. and DJ EFN, allowed Benzino to lose himself in a drunken stupor—claiming that said showrunners exploited the retired rapper’s trauma for likes and views. Personally, I believe people are full of shit. First, people get drunk and both literally and figuratively spill their guts every day, so why not record that shit for entertainment and educational purposes? Second, who the fuck is watching a show titled “Drink Champs” to observe a bunch of sober motherfuckers have mundane discussions in a room full of liquor and marijuana? Third, the entire music industry and followers of popular culture are aware of how rappers like to get loose and keep it real. If “drunk minds speak sober thoughts”, that means everything Benzino said at the peak of his inebriation was the unmitigated truth. Additionally, watching someone pour their heart out in a state of pure freedom and unrestricted expression should serve as a reminder that everyone who is experiencing trials and tribulations is not alone. Intoxication also evinces the fact that being fake is debilitating. I’ve never been a partier because I’ve never liked being around a bunch of drunk-ass, loud-ass, musty-ass, stupid-ass strangers. Throughout my life, there have been very few lessons that I’ve had to learn the hard way. I’ve always toiled to make a habit of doing the right thing the first time. I know many of you can’t relate to my level of responsibility, but that should prove that I’m smarter than you. If I gave a fuck about what people think, I probably would have done as much stupid shit as you have. Yes, I want to get under your skin! I also want you to question why you’re doing everything you do from now on. Shamelessly, I’m no saint and I have fucked up numerous times. But the vast majority of my fuck-ups were the result of ignorance—seldom the result of sheer stupidity. And now that you’re working toward having a mind of your own, you’ll avoid doing things specifically to impress or appease other people—just like me. If my boasting annoys you, that’s the same way I feel when I experience deliberate dumb shit. During his tipsy tirade, Benzino said a lot of things that exposed the flaws in his character. Namely, he suggested that coming up in an area that was ripe with strife forced him to develop a fuck-boy mentality. Is it implausible that people who are prone to violence and buffoonery have addictive personalities? As someone without an addictive personality, it’s difficult for me to get trapped into a cycle that inhibits my ability to think clearly and act rationally. If you don’t know, with an addictive personality, you have a proclivity for becoming dependent on things to the point where going without those things elicits adverse side effects. For people who indulge in street culture, they regularly become addicted to the thrill of a fast life—risky sex, dangerous disputes, hazardous environments, chancy circumstances, etc. And that addiction is commonly sparked by the realization that being smart is fucking boring. Who wants to live a long, healthy, drama-free life when there’s so much shit to get into, right? And that’s why the type of people who say shit like “live your life to the fullest” are rarely intelligent. Because what does that mean, exactly? Does it mean go out to the club or the bar multiple times a week and have unprotected sex with strangers after every outing? Does it mean do hard drugs until they ruin your life and destroy your body? Does it mean roam the streets and terrorize your neighborhood until you piss someone off enough to get murdered? Does it mean surviving every stupid-ass decision you’ve made ultimately makes you a strong person? If you want to be happy, you have to work for it. And the more you fuck up, the unhappier you’ll be. Instead of living your life “to the fullest”, try living your life optimally.
Rest in peace to Hydeia Broadbent, the HIV/AIDS activist who was born with AIDS. I remember seeing Hydeia on Oprah when I was a kid, and it was one of the first times I cried while watching something on TV. I also had a slight crush on her. When I was a teenager, I once shaved all my pubic hair before having sex. That was my first time shaving my pubes, and I shaved with a razor and a bar of soap—which is almost never a good idea. A few days after the sex, my crotch was itchy as hell and I started to develop bumps around my pubic area. Being the first time that I shaved, I didn’t know that I could develop razor bumps. So, I was convinced that I had AIDS! I panicked for a day or so after the bumps appeared, but I eventually searched “shave bumps” on Ask Jeeves or some shit and educated myself. I’ve been tested numerous times since then, of course, and I’m all good. How many scares did it take for you to stop a bad habit? Since the bad trip I had from the vape incident I explained a while back, I haven’t smoked weed at all. I probably won’t smoke again, and I honestly don’t think I need weed. I have a naturally calm and composed demeanor, so weed only made me super sleepy, hella horny, or annoyingly fucking anxious. The only thing I’ve ever been addicted to is learning. I fiend for understandings! Every time I learn something new, I feel relieved—as if I eluded a trap or evaded an error. Sometimes, I wish I cared more about things that don’t matter to me. Because that enthusiasm would incentivize me to learn about trivial and inconsequential shit—which could be fun. When I’m not learning, I enjoy writing, watching movies and television shows, exercising, playing video games, working on cars, thinking and fantasizing, plotting and planning, and proving points. Presently, I’m in the middle of manifesting a dream that I’ve had for quite some time now. And everyone who’s reading this is lucky enough to be part of that dream. Once my dream is finally brought to fruition, which is imminent, I’m going to show you all things that people never wanted you to see! Did you know that The Matrix and The Terminator both came from the same story? A black woman named Sophia Stewart published a book titled “The Third Eye” in 1981, and both movies were adapted from her story. Essentially, James Cameron and the Wachowski brothers stole different pieces of Sophia Stewart’s story and never credited her for them. And when she sued, she lost. That’s some bullshit, right? This blog is a part of my story, and because motherfuckers can see what’s coming, they’ve attempted to intrude into it. I wish I could say that I’m flattered, but I’m more exasperated. It’s one thing to introduce yourself into the story and contribute to the protagonist’s journey, but it’s a whole other thing to impinge on the story in an effort to change the protagonist’s course to fit your preferences. Imagine if spectators could dictate the outcome of a sports event with mere boos and cheers. How the fuck are you going to coach from the rafters? Don’t tread on me, motherfuckers! Miss, I’m going to keep your name out of this from now on, but I just want you to know that these motherfuckers could never get to me, ever. Everybody from the manager to the man-child to the minions is a fucking clown. I’ve been able to sense your sentiments from the beginning, I understand that you’re being silenced, and I would like for you to relieve yourself of whatever duty you feel you have in this situation. Whatever stress or mental anguish you’ve experienced thus far, I apologize. However, it’s personal now. And I’m just getting started! Peace.