Skip to content

Everybody’s Stupid, CXXIII

So, Michael Jackson’s nephew, Jaafar Jackson, is portraying him in an upcoming movie alongside Nia Long as Catherine Jackson—Michael’s mom. Also, Eminem is co-producing a documentary on “Stan” culture, highlighting the hectic and unhealthy lives of obsessed fans. Most superstars have sobriquets, or “fandom names”, to denote their distinct collection of super fans. Notably, Nicki Minaj has the “Barbz”, Ariana Grande’s fans are called the “Arianators”, Beyoncé keeps the “Bey Hive” buzzing, milky Ed Sheeran calls his loyal fan base the “Sheerios”, etc. But what would The King of Pop have called his overzealous fans? How about the “Popcore”, as in the “core” fans of the King of “Pop”? Or what about simply the “Jackson Family”, which is self-explanatory? I just came up with those nicknames on the spot, and I think they’re both fitting. I have obsessed fans of my own, with former one-hit wonder, Joe Budden, being at the helm! Joe, as of today, I am dubbing you the formal leader of the “Amours”. Congratulations! Because nobody seems to “amour” me more than you, allegedly. Well, you and the estranged relatives of mine that you’ve allegedly been communicating with, having them record phone conversations and snap unflattering pictures of me to send you, in efforts to humiliate me, I assume. And that’s in addition to the white female private investigator who follows me every time I go to Walmart, allegedly. Joe, with your history of alleged domestic violence and unhinged behavior, which are sociopathic tendencies, what makes you believe your actions aren’t predictable? I am alleging that I have proof that you’ve invaded my privacy and imposed yourself into my life, against my wishes, and you don’t even have the courtesy to openly acknowledge my existence. You have got to be the weirdest, creepiest motherfucker of all time! I am a heterosexual man, Joe! This shit got me so mad, I don’t even have any fucking energy! I moved on from my relatives and their toxicity with intentions of never communicating with them again, because they’re liars and manipulators—not unlike you. However, my sister passed away and I decided to distantly keep in touch. And just when I thought shit was cool, I turn on the Joe Budden Podcast and hear you and your co-hosts allegedly mocking me via a made-up story that mimicked a real-life dispute that I had with a relative. And that was after months of you allegedly poking at me through indirect and hidden messages. What the fuck is wrong with you, bruh!? For the record, I couldn’t give any less of a fuck about people thinking I’m crazy when you and I both know I’m telling the truth, allegedly. And shout out to Ice, Flip, and Ish for holding it down on episode 700. I apologize if this gets any weirder than it already is, but everyone who is privy to at least a portion of the facts is aware of who’s to blame for this entire situation. Honestly, I don’t know what to do, but I feel violated! As a man, I’m secure enough to admit when I’m uncomfortable with something. And all of this makes me uncomfortable as fuck! Joe, if you were interested in getting to know me better, or if you wanted to know if I am who I’ve claimed to be, why the fuck would you do everything BUT contact me directly?! What fucking sense does that make? And what would make you believe it’s acceptable to pry into someone’s private life and encourage your friends to join you in antagonizing that person?! Joe, you got me fucked-up, boy! You’re rude and cruel, among worse things, and I don’t appreciate it at all. But I’m going to move on, for the moment, so I won’t get any more upset than I am. Just be informed that I have all the receipts I need to get refunded and have your raggedy ass refurbished! You should’ve just extended your hand or left me the fuck alone.

Eminem is the greatest rapper of all time! Nobody plays with words like Eminem does, and no rapper has ever been as consistently dope as him. Even when Em was abusing drugs and using odd voices in his music, his lyricism was still on point. I was listening to a random J. Cole verse the other day, and I realized that I would smoke him on his best day, which could be a day when I’m not even in the mood to write. The same goes for Kendrick Lamar. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a career-long fan of both Kendrick and Cole, but I’m also smarter and more passionate than those niggas. I can’t think of anyone that I look up to as a role model. Truthfully, as prolific and profound as my writing is, I’m not even “well-read”. I obtain facts and form my own perspectives around them. I don’t care to read or listen to other people’s perspectives on most things because I don’t want my interpretations to be tainted or skewed by someone else’s intelligent but inaccurate explanations. Making things sound good is a talent in itself, but it’s not an automatic indication of accuracy or comprehension. A motherfucker can be completely wrong about something but it can make perfect sense, especially if they’re explaining something that you’re not knowledgeable about or unfamiliar with. Diverging a bit, is it strange that I don’t mind being a villain and I don’t need everyone to like me? I feel like self-determination and individualism are things that people have always struggled with. And that takes me back to the point I’ve been making for the last two or three posts—most people naturally desire acceptance and the consideration of their insecurities and sensitivities. But why wouldn’t they? Everybody can’t be a villain. Yet, what makes someone a hero? By definition, a hero is a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. But shit, a villain can be that for everyone who respects their villainy. Technically, and I’m speaking hypothetically, if heroes cared more about the people and principles they aim to save and protect, they’d permanently eliminate threats a lot more often. Why do heroes always have long-standing feuds with archenemies—motherfuckers that they’ve already defeated numerous times? If you’re smart, the whole point of problem-solving is to find a viable solution that will quash the problem to preclude its continuance and return. But much like American politicians, I presume that heroes understand that the more problems there are, the more problems there will be to solve. There’s a lot of toxicity and intentional tension in the relationship dynamics between heroes and villains. And it’s because they need each other. Without the thrill of potentially being caught off guard, chased, and captured, causing chaos would be no fun. By the same token, without the potential to catch someone off guard, chase them, and capture them, heroism would be redundant. With that being said, how frequently do you think people risk their lives just for the thrill? Personally, I think I mention how safe and unsafe boredom is a little too much. So, I’m diving into it again, because I suspect people need constant reminders. For the record, this blog gets approximately 800 unique visitors a day when I’m smoking these topics, so I’m not just wasting my time here. Remember, this is a lot of reading, so there’s not a lot of impatient people who are fans of mine. Boredom is safe when you can manage it maturely and patiently. I opt for writing over video blogging partly because I’m a great writer and I want to attract a more mature following. If you take the time out to read over watching a video, it’s because you’re willing to take your time and pay attention. That’s the type of tolerance and endurance required to promote maturity. On the other hand, if you can’t sit down or be still for a few minutes to read a couple thousand words, you’re probably not mature enough to ingest and appreciate the messages I am attempting to convey. Boredom becomes dangerous when people can’t contain themselves and they get zealously spontaneous. The moral of the story is, be as deliberate as possible at all times.

So, Mo’Nique’s son has been refuting her claims about their relationship since she appeared on Club Shay Shay. Having dealt with emotionally unstable and mentally unhealthy people all my life, it’s not difficult for me to discern that Mo’Nique has an issue with maintaining healthy relationships. First, let me start by saying I don’t believe humans will ever be the best judges of who’s mentally healthy and who’s not. Some people think homosexuality is mental illness. Others believe introversion is a sign of evilness and deviancy. Personally, I understand that everyone is essentially different and there’s no one way for motherfuckers to be! Who the fuck is anybody to tell everybody who they should be? Get the fuck out of here, right!? On the other hand, when people are experiencing constant conflict and continuous confusion in their lives and they refuse to acknowledge their role in their own discontent, there’s probably some degree of mental illness present. Yet and still, that doesn’t mean that people without those specific troubles aren’t mentally ill, and it also doesn’t mean those other people have a solution. When you’re not involved in something, it’s easy to point out the obvious and assume the answer to the problem is simple enough to contradict the circumstances. But that’s what makes people stupid! Because if you’re uninvolved, you’re likely unaware of the severity of the situation and the complexity of the circumstances. Outside of Mo’Nique obviously being a difficult person, to say the least, the details of her quarrels don’t interest me because they don’t concern me. If I could learn something from being judgmental and gratuitously disrespectful, I’d be those things, but I can’t, so I’m not. And you shouldn’t be either. Even though I just spilled a big-ass jug of tea in the first paragraph, I understand there’s a lesson in that situation. One, don’t fuck with Beau Amoureux! Two, being a fucking weirdo is costly. Three, I’m talented and formidable enough for famous people to be excessively envious of and obsessively interested in me. Four, families are full of fucked-up people! Again, there’s nothing that you motherfuckers can do to stop me from succeeding, but feel free to proceed at wasting your time. As for me, I hate wasting my time. I’ll pass time by doing just about anything, but if I’m not getting anything out of what I’m doing, I can’t do it. Among other things, each one of these posts is like a big “fuck you” to all the weak-hearted, feeble-minded, hate-mongering motherfuckers who wish I’d stop. Also, just to make it clear, there never has been and never will be any struggle or resistance for me to do and say whatever the fuck I want! But enough of that, I want to wrap this up with something positive. Currently, I feel powerful. And with this power, I’m going to dominate. But like a true villain, when I’m done, there will be collateral damage. So, let me apologize in advance to everyone who will be wrenched by the aftermath of my wrath. And with that, I end this one with an excerpt that we all know and love. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness. For he is truly his brother’s keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! And you will know my name is the lord, when I lay my vengeance upon thee!” Peace.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *