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Everybody’s Stupid, CXVI

How do you feel about rumors? Personally, I’m not, and have never been, a messy person. I like to mind my own fucking business, and I’ve been that way since I was a child. I’ve just never really given a fuck about what other people are doing. However, sometimes, I’m intrigued by secrets and conflicts. Would you believe me if I told you that Joe Budden has allegedly had a secret sexual relationship with his long-time friend and former road manager, Kino Childrey, for years now!? Please understand that the LGBTQ+ community has my completely open and unfading support. But those are two zesty-ass niggas! And for certainty’s sake, peep the “allegedly” in my potentially totally uncertain, unfounded, unsubstantiated, and untrue tittle-tattle. Admittedly, I have a little crush on Tasha K, even though she looks like a female version of me. Strong-minded people appeal to me. Conversely, weak-minded people don’t appeal to me at all. But my aim as a communicator is never to tear people down, it’s to strengthen their minds. Now, don’t get me wrong, I sometimes say specific shit that is strictly meant to hurt certain people’s feelings. But I try not to make a habit of it. Yet, I recognize that humans are so sensitive that something as simple as being nice to a motherfucker might make them feel like you’re mocking their sensitivities. It’s hard not to hurt people’s feelings these days. I think I should make it known that I have sensitivities and insecurities, and I experience self-consciousness and other inefficient but natural human traits—just like everybody else! Nobody is exempt from the fact that we can’t control our minds as well as we’d like to. For instance, we all think shit and wonder why we’d think some shit like that after we thought it, right? I think intelligence could be accurately measured by the amount of control a person has over their thoughts and the actions that come after those thoughts. But I digress. I don’t want to get too deep on this one, I just want to piss a few people off. Contradictions occur when people’s statements or actions oppose their previous statements or actions. However, how many people are one-dimensional and how many situations are devoid of intricacies? Smart people know that there’s always more details. And snooping people love themselves some fucking details. I’m not suggesting that snoopers are smart for devotedly digging for deets, but many of the world’s most precious resources need to be dug up before we can appreciate them. I wish I could tell you there’s nothing precious about poop—poop being a colloquial term for inside information—but even a bull’s shit aids in the fertility of the land that nurtures us. How many of the fundamental facts that we’ve obtained were meant to remain secrets? Remember, Edward Snowden is the inquisitive motherfucker who fled to Russia and sought asylum after he discovered and uncovered how illegally nosy the government is. Granted, no one needed confirmation of the government’s penchant for prying and probing, but you must respect a whistleblower. Do you believe that consensual sex requires instructions? If not, why the fuck do you care what type of people connect their parts and pieces when they assemble? Dicks feel pleasure from light friction and pussies are stimulated by both internal and external contact, correct? With a concept that simple, only humans would think they’re intelligent for complicating it! “Two people with penises shouldn’t have sex together because you can’t insert a penis into a penis and nature only intended for penises and vaginas to be compatible.” The first person who said that shit thought they were a fucking genius! Innovation is what has advanced us this far into our progression and expansion as “intelligent” beings. So, it doesn’t make sense for “intelligent” humans to reject progressive, liberal views. How the fuck can we move forward if people think it’s stupid to progress?!

On episode 485 of the Joe Budden Podcast, an episode titled “Y’all Must Be New Here”, Joe Budden said, and I quote, “I like guys and girls! Spread the word!” Well, if you’re new here, on the Beau Amoureux blog, I’ve mentioned several times that Joe Budden has been metaphorically riding my dick like it’s literally Kino’s! Joe and his co-hosts are big fans of mine, they are recurring readers of my blog, and they’re also some of the weirdest motherfuckers I’ve ever encountered! Except you, Mel—it’s all love. But this ain’t about me, at least not right now, it’s about the truth. Do you think actress Shannon Thornton is a transsexual? That may be a hot take, but that motherfucker is just way too beautiful—her face doesn’t even look real sometimes. On the soaring Starz series, P-Valley, a closeted gay rapper falls in love with a transsexual-esque strip club owner in the middle of their steamy, secret sexual entanglement. The show conclusively depicts the devitalization and debility that gay men deal with as they struggle to find self-assurance and societal acceptance. Do you think it’s fair for people to have to hide the truth from people who claim to only want the truth? Afresh, I think it’s healthy, respectable, and respectful for people to protect their privacy and abstain from offending people by keeping their secrets untold. But sexuality shouldn’t need to be a fucking secret! Why can’t Joe and Kino play butt-naked Bingo at a hotel Casino in Reno, sipping pinot, popping “E”, no? With Diddy and Tyler Perry trending intermittently for months now amidst their individual sex scandals, the topic of homosexuality amongst black men has been a hot one. Music artists such as Frank Ocean, Tyler the Creator, Isaiah Rashad, Taylor Bennett, and Lil Wop are just a few of the brave black men who have revealed their unconventional sexual preferences after acquiring fame. But bad-tempered, backpedaling, booty-clapping-ass Joe Budden is still scared! Joe, I know why you’ve gained all that weight—you’re trying to get thick to see what it feels like to be a baddie! You ain’t got to lie, Joe. Who likes being judged? If anybody should understand how unfair judgements can be, it’s famous people and criminals. When you think about it, who’s more disrespectful than a motherfucker who violates laws habitually? Criminals leave the house and be like, “I’m going out here to make some victims, and nobody better not say shit to me about it!” Y’all got life all kinds of fucked-up, which translates over into your fucked-up lives! Hateful people think like criminals. It’s clear that most criminals can’t capture the concept of consequences, correct? As such, hateful people don’t seem to understand that they can also be hated—typically by the people they’re hating. Where homophobes hate homosexuals for no particular reason, homosexuals hate homophobes because homophobes hate homosexuals for no fucking reason! Do you see what the idea of intelligence does for stupid people? Motherfuckers start trying to rationalize irrational shit and people are irrationally hated in the process! As men, we all know that we are or have been liable to stick our dicks in any place where the end result is ejaculation. Whether it’s a mouth, the palm of a hand, between two big-ass titties, a vagina, a booty hole, the arches of feet, an armpit, parallel thighs, a silicone toy, etc. the goal is the same—to cum. Again, why the fuck do people intentionally complicate such a primal and uncomplicated thing? Sex is either about busting a nut or conceiving a child. Black men are stigmatized as historically bad fathers. So, the more nuts busted in booty holes instead of vaginas, the fewer fatherless children they’ll be to become hateful-ass criminals! Homosexuality is a win for the black community. And I’d bet money that Joe Budden would allegedly approve of this message.

I never want to take myself too seriously to joke on myself or to be joked on. Similarly, I never want to be in a headspace where people’s opinions bother me. If I didn’t believe that people could learn to be smarter, securer, more mature, and more tolerant, I wouldn’t even be wasting my time sharing my thoughts and views. What if people forgot how to lie? What if the only way for the human race to survive was for everyone to be happy? Do you think same-sex relationships make some people happy? Why would you want your opinion about happy people’s relationships to make those people unhappy? Do you care how your opinions affect people? If you’re unhappy, do you hate seeing other people happy? How much do you want to matter to people? So, y’all want to matter enough to judge people and have your opinions affect their lives but you don’t want to matter enough for those people to reciprocate said judgement and opinions?! If people only knew how fucked-up they had life, life would be so much easier. Let me tell y’all in plain language, fuck how you feel, fuck what you think, and fuck your opinions. And if you’re a gratuitous hater, I hope someone hates you just as much as you hate whomever you’re hating! You’re not saving the world by hating people for no fucking reason! Humans are going to do whatever the fuck they want with their genitalia, there’s virtually nothing that you can do about it, and if it’s consensual, who gives a fuck!? Joe and Kino, fuck each other like you’re petty as fuck and you’re fucking for retaliation against hate! Like I always say, hatred is a tradition. There are people out there who don’t even know how they truly feel because they’re accustomed to acquiescence and conformity. If all you’ve been taught is that specific people are unworthy of your respect and you’re unfamiliar with other points of view, even if you disagree, you’re liable to pledge your fidelity to the perspective that you’re most familiar with. And in my opinion, that’s why it’s so important for people to subvert unwritten law. Again, your elders and ancestors ain’t got the fucking answers! Old people and their methods and behaviors have barely solved any of humans’ most pressing problems and they continue to inhibit our progression. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t respect your elders as fellow humans, but you don’t have to do what they want you to do. And if your elders hate you for having your own thoughts and feelings, it may be time to create some boundaries. As difficult as I know this is for a lot of people, I would recommend that you stop hording your feelings for hateful people. We can’t just sit back and allow these people to keep us behind. If hating is what makes people happy, let them hate from a distance. We’ve all heard the saying, “I love them from a distance.” Sometimes, the further away from hatred you are, the healthier and happier you’ll be. And if you can’t put physical distance between you and hatred, let your boundaries serve as a barrier. You can communicate with people daily and still protect your emotions and maintain your personal feelings about things. To preserve positivity, simple things like changing the subject, leaving the room, refusing to argue, and nicely acknowledging that you’ll never agree with someone is enough to diminish and limit the perpetuation of hatefulness. Most importantly, teach the younger people around you that they have the ability to use their own minds and form their own opinions. Teaching people to respect others, even against their elders’ wishes, could never be disrespectful! I’m as sick and tired of people who are “sick and tired” as I am with a retired rapper who should retire from podcasting. If the old people are sick and tired, let’s be healthy and energetic! Peace.

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