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Beau Tells, III

“Ain’t it evil to live backwards?!”. That’s a quote from the undisputed G.O.A.T. of battle rap, Loaded Lux. And that’s as simple as a Lux line gets. I’ve been a fan of battle rap since Fight Klub aired late-night on MTV2, so that’s well before the 2010s. If I remember correctly, Serius Jones vs. Jin was the first battle I ever saw. Then, I recollect watching Remy Ma vs. Lady Luck a few times, before I discovered the Serius Jones vs. Murda Mook battle. Serius Jones was my favorite battle rapper for a minute, then I saw Hitman Holla, Tsu Surf, Conceited, T-Rex, Math Hoffa, and a few other legends, and I didn’t have a favorite anymore. The first rap battle that I watched over and over was Nyckz da Don vs. ENJ—the infamous “Oh, you mad ‘cause I’m stylin’ on you!?” battle. In that battle, Nyckz was getting the best of ENJ, who was ass, and when ENJ realized that he was losing the battle, he decided to snuff Nyckz after Nyckz mocked him. It was hilarious! Anyway, if you spell live backwards, it becomes evil. And I was thinking, what if the word evil was created after some oppressive authoritarian disapproved of how people were living—flipping the word backwards to denote people’s tendency to do the reverse of what they were ordered to do? A few months back, I was reading up on Christianity, and I came across something that intrigued me. I am an atheist, which means I don’t believe in God or The Devil, but I do find The Bible to be entertaining and somewhat enlightening. And I’m sure I’m late on this, but cut me some slack, because I don’t give a fuck about religion. From what I read, it’s alleged that Lucifer, an archangel, was banished from Heaven because he believed God was doing mankind a disservice by withholding knowledge from them. In God’s opinion, enlightening people and providing them with his unlimited knowledge would have removed their innocence and emboldened them to defy his authority. So, basically, God wanted to keep people stupid so he could continue to control them. In turn, Lucifer came down to Earth, planted the “Tree of Enlightenment”, infused its fruit with knowledge, and encouraged people to eat said fruit to acquire enlightenment. After that, Lucifer was expelled from Heaven, Eve ate fruit from the Tree of Enlightenment and was exiled from Paradise, and God kept his autocratic power. I’m sure many people disagree with that story, but it’s all made-up at the end of the day, so what does it matter?! Honestly, if I believed anything about religion, it would be that story. I’ve always thought religion is oppressive, because it doesn’t advance autonomy in any way, shape, or form. Religion dictates right and wrong, good and evil, and dos and don’ts. I can’t get jiggy with that shit!

There’s a 40-sum-year-old man on the Joe Budden Podcast, who actively promotes drill music and its associated drama and detriments in his spiels. That guy just so happens to be the brother of the most disrespectful battle rapper of all time, Arsonal da Rebel. I’ve never been an Arsonal fan, because he’s always relied on shock value and physicality (pushing and shoving) to edge the crowd’s favor toward him in his battles—and he really ain’t got bars like that! Which makes his slogan, “You can’t spell bars without putting the Ars in it!”, slightly perplexing. However, I’d never attempt to deny that Arsonal is a battle rap forefather. And his on-stage aggression has inspired other great battle rappers to “turn up” and make battle rap more exciting and intense. I guess, sometimes we must take the good with the bad. Yet, there ain’t a whole lot of good that comes from drill music and gang banging. Arsonal is also a gang banger—as a member of the Grape Street Crips in New Jersey. Personally, I have zero respect for gang bangers! Those niggas are not hard, and they’re not “real”, to me. There’s a saying that states, “God blessed the child who can hold his own.”. When have gang members ever been known to hold their own?! When do gang members ever stand ten toes down, on their own?! Niggas, never! Those niggas don’t even fight their own fights, they jump people. That’s what gangs do, gang up on niggas. That shit ain’t cool! But in their heads, that shit is cool. In my opinion, gang banging is the most degenerate form of companionship. Instead of being sincere, and proclaiming that they find consolation in camaraderie, niggas opt for obsequiously dick-riding all their homies while pretending to be content with all their anxiety and humility. Man, niggas are clowns to me—lame as a motherfucker! No, I don’t think I’m a tough guy. But I am a man. And what type of man is afraid to genuinely speak his mind? Remember, gang bangers are supposed to be the roughest, most secure niggas in our culture—men with the utmost mental fortitude, right? How upset do you think gang bangers would be if they read this? Feel free to shoot those niggas the link! To keep it simple, just inform everybody you know that Beau Amoureux is the realest motherfucker in the history of motherfuckers. Because now I just feel like bursting some bubbles.

First, if you’ve ever been shot and survived, you didn’t live because you’re a “real nigga”, you lived because you made it to the hospital in time! If you’re so “real”, have someone shoot you in the same spots, and see how long you survive without medical treatment. Stupid-ass niggas! Second, gang bangers are human. That means, y’all niggas have emotions just like the rest of us. Which assures me that y’all gots to be the saddest motherfuckers in society! Who takes more loses than gang bangers?! If y’all are so tired of losing friends and relatives to senseless violence, stop letting niggas die! If you stay out of bullshit, your niggas can circumvent bullshit too. For instance, how many gang bangers do you believe have been killed because of some fucked-up shit that one of their acquaintances did? So, y’all niggas are comfortable letting niggas die for you? Better yet, y’all niggas are comfortable dying over some fuck-shit that another nigga did?! Get the fuck outta here! Third, again, why aren’t gang bangers at ease living individually? Since when is being uber-dependent on other men for comfort a trait of a strong man? I believe it’s safe to say that a lot of y’all niggas are out there living backwards! Because it’s clear that many of you are the inverse of who you portray yourselves to be. And you’re all the opposite of who most people perceive you as. It’s difficult to fool me. I’ve been a people-watcher since I became aware of my own feelings. And I recognize all the insecurities that I’ve overcome still blooming in many people, even people much older than I am. I also realize the many similarities in people who admit to their insecurities and people who deny that they’re insecure about things that they very apparently are. I believe that even the stupidest people can pinpoint the chinks in other people’s armor, because there is nothing that burdens people more than their own vulnerabilities. For example, and I’ll keep this simple, a coulrophobe is someone who is afraid of clowns. If a coulrophobe notices that a stranger is repulsed by colorful Afro wigs, said coulrophobe would be justified in assuming that the stranger may have coulrophobia. Because who the fuck else is driven back by rainbow Afros? Other than racist homophobes, of course. By the same token, if I considered potentially joining a gang as a little kid, because I recognized that there would have been a lot of solace and sympathy in the cooperation of a large group of my peers, I believe it’s shrewd to conclude that’s what motivates many people to join a gang. But maybe this is one of those “your logic ain’t logical” moments? Shit, don’t hesitate to let me know if I’m wrong. But I honestly don’t expect a bunch of backwards-ass niggas to be straightforward!

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