I remember the first time I got my heart broken. Yet, I honestly don’t remember when I lost my virginity, but that’s another story. When I was about 8 years old, I used to dry-hump these sisters that were nicknamed, “Boo-Boo” and “Stink”. True story! One night in the hood, our families were throwing a card party. Boo-Boo and Stink were my mother’s boyfriend’s nieces. And my mom’s boyfriend, at that time, is the late father of my youngest maternal sister, may he rest in peace. Continuing, there were a bunch of us kids outside playing, and someone suggested that we should play a freaky game called, “Hide-and-Go-Get”. Hide-and-Go-Get is simply Hide-and-Seek, but when you catch someone, instead of them being immediately eliminated, you grab them and hunch them, squeeze a titty, stick your hand down their pants, or do something sexual. Whole time, I wasn’t a bad kid, so motherfuckers had to explain the game to me before we started. At the time, I was so innocent, I don’t think I even participated in the salacious horseplay. However, I did want to get my dry-hump on with Boo-Boo, who was a little freak. Later that night, after the game was over, I went house to house looking for Boo-Boo. We all lived in an apartment complex, and all the apartments were in close proximity. When I found Boo-Boo, she was in a mostly empty room, crouched behind a pink Power Wheels car, getting humped by some little nigga I didn’t even know! Not only that, as I stood there in shock and disbelief, that juvenile jezebel ordered me to “go play somewhere”. I was crushed! And I hated that little bitch. I don’t really know how deeply that experience affected me, but I’ve never been in a committed relationship, ever. I’m telling this story because it’s funny as fuck, but also because most of you stupid motherfuckers still act like children! When I think of the perfect woman for me, as searchable examples, I envision someone like Lianne La Havas, or Zazie Beetz, or Erica LeShai. I am most attracted to smart, dignified, cool-ass chicks. And Janelle Monae used to be an exemplar of a perfect woman, to me, but she’s fucking that up. I liked Janelle Monae because she is beautiful, artistic, unique, and at one point she was very quaint and virtuous. But now, she’s “much happier with (her) titties out”! Yes, of course I love titties. I’m a flesh and blood human being. But I don’t like hoes, at all! And Janelle Monae is on some hoe-shit, right now. Yes, motherfucker, I said it! And I mean everything I say. But my quandary is more so with the toleration of hoe-shit than it is with Janelle Monae.
If I had to guess, I would assume that Janelle Monae initially believed that she didn’t need to sexualize or objectify herself to succeed in the music business. And after all this time, she probably realized that she’s never reached her maximum potential because her image was too clean to keep people invested. Also, all of the kinkiest women I’ve ever known are nerds! If you get queasy easily and you know a female who’s into video games, anime, tattoos, old-timey fashion, and recreational drugs, do yourself a favor and never look under her bed, or in her nightstand, or in her closet, or though the pictures in her phone. You’re welcome. But I’m saying that Janelle Monae has likely always been sexually free, but now she’s tired of hiding it. For the record, this is all conjecture. I don’t know Janelle Monae and I’m not a mind-reader. Personally, as a mature adult, nudity doesn’t excite me too much. However, I wholeheartedly believe that women who think they can share their “private parts” publicly and still be respected are delusional as fuck! Bitch, if you can’t avoid being sexually harassed while wearing a pantsuit, what makes you think openly being naked or posting nudes on the internet isn’t going to compound the harassment?! To me, being openly sexual is childish. Maturing can be defined as reaching the most advanced stage in a process. And in the process of growing up, in my opinion, people should develop a great sense of self-worth that precludes the need to gather attention solely to prove that they’re an adult. It seems like a lot of these grown-ass, sexually liberated hoes are on some “na-na na-na boo-boo” type shit. For example, look at Chloe Bailey. Doesn’t it appear as if Chloe is exhausting all her energy on certifying that she’s now old enough to fuck? In a way, I think Janelle Monae is doing the same thing. Now, back to me. I think I don’t remember the exact experience that stamped my v-card because that shit was never important to me. As a kid, I viewed sex as a natural and normal thing. I’ve always likened being horny to being hungry. For instance, when you’re hungry, you find something to eat. And when you’re horny, you find someone or something to fuck. If my kid brain thought that way, imagine how my adult brain works! Clearly, my brain is bigger than most men’s. I got that mandingo brain! Ladies, come get you some. By the way, I’m talking about my actual brain—the one inside my skull. Get yours out the gutter!
I’m an atheist, and I’ve been one since I was about 7 years old. I was born in 1987. Yes, I’ve been an intellectual for that long. Additionally, that means I don’t believe in any of the stipulations that religion imposes on sex. But I believe that women should be respectable to be respected. And I don’t respect women who don’t respect themselves enough to at least protect themselves from harassment. Women who want to be respected, act like it! And if being sexually free is more important to you than presenting yourself respectfully, you’se a stupid bitch! I know a lot of people ain’t gone feel me on this. But if you’re a frequent reader of Beau Amoureux’s blog, you know that I don’t give a fuck! All of my thoughts are completely thought through, original, uninfluenced, and genuinely from the heart. Again, I mean what the fuck I say. I once knew a woman who fucked anybody she wanted, male and female. Her excuse was something like, “our bodies are temporary vessels that should be thoroughly utilized to share pleasurable experiences that also have the power to create life”, or some goofy shit like that. The fucked-up part was, she was dead-ass serious. She thought that being a hoe was part of her spiritual journey. To each their own, right? Listen. Obviously, I support freedom, fully. However, I also fully abhor stupidity. The fact is, sex and sexuality are dangerous for various reasons. Having sex with the wrong person could kill you or get you killed. By the same token, being overtly sexual can put you in a potentially deadly situation. And if you need someone to explain that shit to you, you’re probably a lost cause. A lost cause is a person or thing that can no longer hope to succeed or be changed for the better. Even if Janelle Monae’s newly liberated persona helps her become more successful, is compromising her respectability worth the social media likes, new followers, and diminutive financial gain? Ultimately, do you think this newfound attention is going to be all positive and healthy for Janelle? Sex in entertainment is a gimmick. A gimmick that plays to the pervading immaturity and thirstiness of the average consumer. If I want to see titties, I’ll watch porn. I never needed to see Janelle Monae nude! And now that I have, I don’t like her as much as I did before I saw those lovely titties. It is what it is. As a man, if I accepted all the pussy that has been offered to me, just because, I’d have about 30 children or 30 different STIs. For me, it ain’t no fun if there’s no challenge! If you conducted a poll right now, and asked grown men if they’d rather be teased or see a woman completely naked, I guarantee that at least 70% of them would rather be teased. I believe that sexy is more a state of mind than a set of physical assets. Truly sexy women are confident, mysterious, elusive, and appealing without even trying. Am I right? Bitches, keep your motherfucking clothes on, it’s better that way!