“Excuse me as I kiss the sky!” Okay, mister Method Man, gon’ ‘head, go “up to the sky” and smooch the shining Sun. I’ll wait… Y’all, what if I’m the real “Birdman, Jr.?” I mean, previously rotund rapper “Rick Ross” reportedly stole someone else’s name for fame, not unlike other blatantly blasphemous bastards with basic bars, so trying to take thrones from prestigious people with only imitation is a famous form of flattery. Unfortunately, as his highness’ honorable heir, I can tell that y’all ain’t got the perk package that comes with triumphing over the trials and tribulations of the true test. And life itself is the true test. Yet and still, some “successful” people get exactly what they passionately pray for. And if you’re paying attention, divine deities don’t do discrimination. What if God gives everyone everything that they want in due time? What if the common concept of “good” and “bad” is tantamount to a simple social standard or human construct that God doesn’t give a fuck about? What if God gives credit to even excellent evilness? What if you don’t actually want what you passionately pray for and that’s why God ain’t gave it to you? What if you’re making major mistakes, failing the true test that never ends, and can’t conjure the courage to correct what’s wrong—which every everyday Earthling has their entire life to do? What if we all don’t have to die one day? What if you’re great at giving up on yourself right before breakthroughs are brought forth? Some broadly broadcasted Bible bites and repetitively repeated religious references ain’t bullshit, and by “bites,” of course I mean short scriptures. Metaphors and messages with multiple meanings are long-practiced lyricism musts. And as someone who is obviously an elite emcee, and a top tier tale teller, while possessing my promised perk package, I have an excellent ear for not only subliminal slights and allusive attacks, but for almost anything allegorical. Allegory is simply stories stated with symbolism and hidden hints. Remember, I’m smarter than y’all, even if I’m strategically suppressing my smarts for a conscious cause. Which queues the query, are you catching the clues? Mainstream music and movies make religion renowned. And searching for something sacred is plenty of people’s primary priority. What if I’m something sacred? Again, what if I’ve cracked the code? What if “the Chosen One” and “the Golden Child” is only one person? What if God guards the gargantuan golden gates of “Heaven” personally? What the figgity fuck are you going to do to get past God and through those gargantuan golden gates without his good graces? What if Earth is an angel academy? What if every devilish deed you do deducts a significant slice of your spiritual score? What if you can be eternally expelled from the angel academy if doing habitual harm to yourself or the collective of collaborating cadets, but God still lets you live life to learn lessons exceeding expulsion? And in that case, if the angel academy isn’t mandatory, what’s life all about? Do you want to be an angel? What’s an angel from your personal perspective? As an all-the-time analyst, my mind is always asking questions. I’m sure some so-called smart people can imagine how hard it is to become a mental master. But if you’re wondering what makes me so special to the Universe, if keeping it super simple, it’s partly because I prefer peace while passionately practicing the pursuit of power—the power to provide peace. Be honest, if you could possess the spirit of the Savior, would you want it? Are you an altruist or an antagonist? Are you more selfish than selfless? Again, self-significance is a nonnegotiable necessity for survival wherever “Satan” is situated, but there’s a thick line between self-love and self-loathing. Which queues the query, can you hate yourself so much that soul searching leads you to practice people-pleasing while hoping that sycophantically serving others in religious repentance will get you good with God—and is it easy to distinguish dignity from devotion? Can you be devoted to the Devil? Are the Devil’s devotees dignified? Self-love may make people very vigilant, for the right reasons, causing discrimination designed to filter out fucked-up folks. We all respect that, right? On the other hand, self-loathing may make people regret their perpetuated problems, commonly caused by regular, repetitive reminders of tormenting transgressions, and that could make them look for love in anybody accepting attention from someone seeking to serve. Think about that. Anyhoo, moving on, when I tell y’all that my life is the greatest story ever told, flightless fools and bench-bound birdbrains, believe me! I could make all y’all cry right now, but I’ll wait. In the interim, if there’s some beautiful, big-headed broad out there who believes she should be someone significant to me, what if “God” told me to tell you that he approves, and if you want, you get to live your dream? “Now, here you go again, you say, you want your freedom. Well, who am I to keep you down? It’s only right that you should play the way you feel it. But listen carefully to the sound… of your loneliness.” This is real, ma’am! And you know who you are, so don’t doubt this. Remember, you’re “head of the class,” so here’s some holy homework, homie. I want you to watch two mainstream movies. Don’t I have main character energy? First, “Guardians of the Galaxy,” the first film. Keep these things in mind—metaphorical meanings, ancestors, spirit animals, ancient warriors, your favorite color, and of course, music. Don’t think too tough, just remember what resonates. Then, there’s the obvious one, “Coming to America.” If you want more, say something, tell the truth, in plain English, while protecting your privacy, and I’ll eloquently explain enough to completely convince you of who “we” are—allegedly! If you want to be a real-life princess or queen, when this totally true story is told, Disney, who?! In every lie, every laugh, every lesson, every love, every lifetime, and every everyday Earthling experience, what if something sticks to your soul and stays for eternity? I’m not fake deep, dear. I’m still suppressing my smarts and strength. If you’re reading this while cuddled close to your fiancée or some shit, ignore me. Again, my feelings are fortified. Also, I’m so, so special. And I have a funny feeling that super soon…
Omniscience