Virality is vital for folks feeling that fame fulfils dreams derived from fantasies. For instance, comedians craving fans, followers, and cooperation from contributing communities tend to target those triggered by being ridiculed, frequently fantasizing about hurling hatred that hateful humans hold to be hilarious, and habitually having hopes that outraged, opinionated objectors will create controversy around those targeted takes by continuously conversing the trending topic in broadly broadcasted bullshit that charges up consumers. Dave Chappelle is completely conscious of the critical consequences coming from offending ordinarily oppressed or deeply disenfranchised and discriminated-against minority groups. Co-opted Chappelle, do you crave controversy, sir? I mean, because again, it is your bread and butter, right? If going “viral” meant to infect ingesting individuals with ineluctable information, be it idiotic or informative, what does that mean to you? From my perspective, you’re all too infected with severe stupidity to see how seriously symptomatic you are. Cutting to the chase, Mrs. Michelle Obama, really respectfully, you’ve seemingly spent your entire existence exemplifying everything proper, preferred, and purportedly perfect—to the point where women with conservative views and values value you. You completed college, chose a commendable career, married a marvelous man, conceived children, became the blackest White House wife in human history, and much more. But what if you’re perpetuating problems that make mental healthiness hella hard for folks feeling like living to embody everyone’s expectations is inescapable yet impossible? Mrs. Obama, you’re incontrovertibly infected! If you’re not, why are you so severely symptomatic? You’ve been bitten by the bullshit bug, ma’am. And unfortunately, you were converted to a co-conspirator. First, let me say this, traditionalism conserves customs, conventions, cares, concerns, criticisms, and nonsensical notions that inhibit innovation and prevent progression. Second, wonderful women exist everywhere, but constant comparisons contribute to the omnipresent opinion that perfection is perfectly possible. Wait, don’t tell me you don’t believe that everyone’s expectations are popular people’s first and foremost focus? Mrs. Obama, do you frequently fantasize about pooping or pissing on the “perfect” pedestal that people place you on? And if you do, what would it take to convince you that the standard set for you, the standard you’re sticking to, keeps you stuck seeking to satisfy something inside everyone else that you can’t control? Again, I won’t delve deeply into this topic, because birdbrained bitches be biting, but Michelle Obama is indeed imperfect. And that’s not something she’d defensively deny. But I’m saying that for folks to focus on the fact that allusively attacking and subliminally slighting me has become so “viral” that even exemplars who epitomize excellence are super susceptible to the sheer stupidity contagiously consuming those rejecting reality. If I haven’t hurt Mrs. Michelle Obama’s feelings or offended her in random remarks I’ve made about typical things, her siding with the source of the idiocy-inducing infection must mean that she supposes she’s absolutely asymptomatic. Ma’am, y’all are playing with me as if your oppressive obsession with my immense intrinsic intelligence isn’t something that should be taken seriously. What if I’m immune to idiocy-inducing infections, and that why the sickening source of such an invasive inconvenience has everyone eagerly exhausting themselves to expel me? If stupidity was a deadly disease inside individuals, and those individuals’ immune systems struggled to stop stupidity from spreading, what would their bodies do? If fully functional, the body would send signals to create complications that are mostly meant to alert or alarm the brain that help is needed, right? Remember, for instance, that pain is a signal sent by brains to indicate injuries requiring recovery. I’m going to keep this simple, alright? What if your “God” is the brain of the universe, and he’s sending signals to everyone experiencing stupidity that are mostly meant for compelling them to concentrate on creating change so sickening stupidity stops or subsides? What if, like antibiotics to an invasive infection, me, Beau Amoureux, is a cure injected into your lives with your God’s graces to force the fight against stupidity? And what if the source of the idiocy-inducing infection wants the world to reject this cure, like a resilient virus, which is why they’ve infected so many so-called “smart” people? Mrs. Obama and co-conspirators alike, stop fighting me, I’m the cure, and you’re incontrovertibly infected, but I can help heal you. But in order for my medicine-like mind to be effective enough to create change that stops severe stupidity, you’re going to have to tell the truth. Either in court or via viral videos, it doesn’t matter to me. Because I’m getting that idiocy-inducing infection the fuck up out of here! That’s my prophesied purpose. Don’t make me have to take y’all out with it. To the plagiarists and phonies, the placebo pills, get the fuck out of my way! Everyone else, make your decision. Because soon…
By the way, that viral video with the mad man wearing maroon shorts fake flexin’ like he’s fixin’ to fight is fuckin’ fake. How many times have I mentioned watching “The Shield” on the treadmill? And haven’t I discussed doppelgängers tons of times? If you know the viral video in question, watch it, then Google, “Walton Goggins.”