For the record, every loser and lowlife who latched onto this lame-ass attempt to get lit off lowering my likelihood of leveling up is about to take an “L!” And all y’all gon’ hold this larger-ass “L” for life. To recap for the rookie readers, I’m a top-tier thinker and a wondrous writer, and the foolish federal government has been surveilling me and striving to superintend my life for a long time. Whether my intelligence and independence is a threat to national security or a treat to natural selection, the powers that be are piqued and pissed. Weird and wrong things that are surely stranger than fiction have been happening to me since I was a strolling, sight-seeing school-skipper. For the past few years, the Feds have been furious about my freedom and focus, so they’ve finagled and finessed their way into folks’ fragile and fickle minds—including celebrities and casual citizens—and said folks have been tasked with taunting, teasing, terrorizing, trolling, tormenting, and trying to trigger me. I’m sure that I was supposed to succumb to the serious side effects of sustained psychological torture, but I’m built different. And because I haven’t taken a bird dive off a big bridge, or blown my brains out, or become a bomber, etc., the fuck-ass Feds figure that they can finesse me like they did the fragile-minded folks who’ve failed to fuck with my mind. Needless to say, nah! Everyone from Donald Trump to “Dirt McGirt’s” son knows who I am, in spite of me spurning social media. Which brings me to my next point, to the Canadian crooner, I’m suing the shit out of you—beige bitch. The Feds apply artifice and allusive attacks to agitate, anger, and manipulate their targets. I’ve found that covert and confidential collaborators encircle the entertainment industry, as everyone seems to be informed on some intimate details about my life. Several successful songs have lyrics with subliminal slights and snubs toward me, suggesting that the Feds are supplying songwriters with sensitive subject matter that’s meant to send me spiraling. Even the Canadian crooner’s recent release refers to really risky material. If you can’t catch a clue and you don’t know who the “Canadian crooner” is, he’s a champagne connoisseur. Just so y’all know, the Feds have coerced and committed crimes against me, and you clowns have cryptically confirmed said crimes really rhythmically. Thanks! But shout-out to Atlanta’s ace from the cool camp of “Carolina’s finest,” because he really could have named that song “Rambo” or something less reminiscent of the realest. By the way, I’m “the realest.” Anyhoo, in the news, it’s believed that The Don’s now-enacted “big, beautiful bill” is bound to break banks and bump the country backwards with its biased budgeting. I believe that ravaging and reconstructing is required when something is already relatively ruined. America is a mess, and Americans’ mentalities are messy. Sometimes, showing someone how stupid they are can set them straight. Do you discern that the dumbest dunces in our doomed dominion will desist from dumbness after their dumb decisions have destroyed their determination to develop? The sad part is, most people give up when they have nothing else to give. The impact that my influence has on an immense amount of intentional people is insane. And to palliate my potency, the punk-ass police have been empowering people to pretend to possess my power. Every stolen story and taken thought is meant to make me believe that I’m not special. But if any of y’all could be me, why the fuck would you need to copy me? Obviously, I am one hundred percent original. It seems like the steaming and stark raving mad simpletons are scrambling for solutions to the shit that they’ve started and sustained, wouldn’t you say? If soon could be sooner, would you want it to be? I guess we’ll soon see…
Omniscience