Eve Cooper-Jeffers (allegedly), I remember the story of your struggle with success—how hard it was for you to handle high society and having honoring fans—but this ain’t that, boo. I haven’t yet had the honor of having hardcore fans or the hassle of handling haughtiness in high society. However, I have hordes of haters with a hankering for holding me back, which I surmise is a sign of some success. With that in mind, needless to say, fame and fortune are a fugitive from me, as so is justice—momentarily. Stupid motherfuckers wish I saw shit their suppressive and subjugating way so they could manipulate me like their many malleable-minded minions, but nah! For the record, the Feds aren’t and have been far from friendly, they’re not protecting or pampering me, they’re not promoting my potential, and they’re not preparing me for popularity or a powerful position—they’re implementing illusions and devising distractions to cover up this cancerous conspiracy. If you’re paying attention, each bombshell that I drop is blown up—purloined and popularized—to block me from becoming bigger. Remember? I revealed the goofy group text that the fuck-ass Feds had my ridiculous relatives relay, then the “Signal” situation was schemed up and spotlighted. I spoke about the secret surveillance of my spot, then that Roc Nation storyline started getting shine. I made statements about being silenced and suppressed, bragged about how the bitch-ass badge boys’ bullshit backfired, then Jimmy Kimmell went, came back, and said the same shit I said! We all know how massive my mind is and how monumental this moment would be if honesty wasn’t haunting and horrifying, but it’s obvious that they don’t want the real stories revealed. Notice that nobody has noted my name, but “everybody” is embracing the evil effort to end my elevation before I’m even established. I guess I’m supposed to forget all the terrifying threats, triggering tarot readings, annoying and alarming assertions from affluent celebrities, interference in and interruption of my initial intentions, disrespectful diss tracks, ruining of my reputation, etc. just because the jesters and jezebels throw in jokes with their jabs. Man… y’all already know what y’all can do! Like I said, the Feds have been following and fucking with me forever—a lot longer than the losers and lowlifes have been loathsome lesser beings who’re working with weak-ass weirdos to wipe out my wisdom. Are you total tards tired of hearing the truth? Well, tell the fucking truth! Is privacy a privilege? I wonder if previous presidential administrations were aware of the active assault on my Americanisms way back when. Anyhoo, faking as if folks ain’t feeling me is foolish, especially when I’m intelligent and intuitive enough to interpret folks’ feelings by facial expressions and the faintest extrapolations. What’s more, I’m a passionate poet, a wonderful writer, a superior storyteller, tremendously talented, emotionally evolved, immensely intelligent, and much more. Must I accentuate all my attributes for haters to get a grip on why good girls will go for me regardless of how ridiculous their resentment and ridicule gets? Once again, if you were students instead of stupid motherfuckers, being better would be a bit easier. Lizzo (allegedly), I don’t remember my remarks on your risqué and revealing regimen, but I believe that self-respect is preemptive and proactive when obligated to protect oneself from outrageous overtures and offensive objection. Yes, BBWs can be bad bitches, but they should strive to shy away from being stupid. Single motherhood, sexual assaults, sustaining stereotypes, etc. all stem from the culture’s trashy and terrible tendencies. I’m not saying that everyone should be a role model, but if you desire to inspire with your deliberate doings and displays, you should do the right things, right? Lizzo (allegedly), you’re a heavyweight light that should live luminously, and you look good. Deviating a bit, these nitwits and numbskulls who’re like gnats on my nuts if I were naked in nature are trying to make nonsense normal. Like I said, ain’t nothin’ that a mindless motherfucker can tell me about anything. And ain’t none of this shit going as y’all planned it, is it? Well, for me, it’s a different story. And soon…
Omniscience