In Dave Chappelle’s new Netflix special, the controversial comedian concluded that conspiracy theorists can’t communicate with confidence ‘cause conspiracies can’t be considered conclusive without concrete facts, and I concur. Then, strongly stating that “a nigga that’s sure” is ultimately untrustworthy and unreliable, Chappelle continued his rehearsed routine with an absorbing account of alliterative athletes Jim Jeffries and Jack Johnson’s blockbuster boxing bout back in the day. He highlighted Johnson’s joy of forbiddingly frolicking and fornicating with white women, and afterwards asserted assumptions about the Mann Act and the country’s most crooked cops’ history of stalling or stopping the success of “unstoppable” niggas by sticking them with sex-related stigmas—including Jack Johnson and Sean Combs. In his asserted assumptions—confident conspiracy theorizing—Chappelle closed his compelling comedy set claiming that he can’t be “co-opted” by the country’s chief conspirators, despite the alleged allusive attacks and seemingly subliminal slights sprinkled throughout the talented talker’s takes. Dave, dude, do you know why your voice could never be as powerful as mine? It’s because you’re a career comedian, and your commentary comes with a comical connotation regardless of how stern and serious you intend to be. You’re permanently pigeonholed as a political pundit without a purpose—a stupendous storytelling stand-up with smart stand-up specials. I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but if you’re reading this, you’re not talking about it. What does that mean? Could it mean that the concealment and cover-up of a crazy conspiracy that I’m at the center of, one where celebrities are co-conspirators whose careers could collapse if clarity and corroboration are publicly provided, scares the shit out of you and your famous friends? And while you’re traveling around the tiny town that you own, writing new triggering trans jokes that you’re too terrified to tell, the concerned citizens of the mini municipality where I reside are as frightened as your famous friends—because many were made to mess with my mind, too. It gets deep, Dave! These conspiring cowards and their co-opted crew of alarming and annoying assailants did everything they could think of to make me kill myself, and continue to try—tirelessly. Again, I’ve been alluded to in mainstream movies, music, and television shows for years, and the CIA initiated their investigation when I was a teenager. Imagine spending the younger years of your life being watched by weak-ass weirdos with your nosy, narcissistic, no life having-ass relatives also breaking your boundaries. Y’all, these miserable, meddlesome motherfuckers must be held accountable! And all these coincidental casualties constantly consuming celebrities are a consequence of cowardice. Do you know how I know y’all are stupid? It’s because you’ve made this all about me! And I’m exposing every fuckin’ body! Mr. Shawn Carter, your music has never resonated so deeply with me, sir. But if the Illuminati exists, black billionaires are bound to be buddied up with the big bosses, right? The price you’ve paid for peace and prosperity is probably more than most would want. Personally, I prefer the rebellious route. I’ve been an individualist since a teen, seeing and sensing that something serious was stirring up in me—a silent storm if you will. Being fake has always felt foolish, and I deem dishonesty disgraceful, but slipping “secret” surveillance requires innovation and improvising. What does a law-abiding loner do to protect their privacy if their phone is tapped, house is bugged, car is tracked, neighbors are narcs, and folks are following them, but they can’t confirm it? Information is indubitably indispensable to interfering in or interrupting intrusive inquiries. Remember, “There’s known knowns and known unknowns, but there’s also unknown unknowns—shit that we don’t know that we don’t know.” A “known known” is fact that you’re certain is correct and can’t be argued against. A “known unknown” is a mystery that you’re mindful of, as you admit that arguments against said specific subject are valid due to the absence of facts. But if you don’t know that you don’t know something, can you consider it? The Feds have human brains with biases, bigoted beliefs, and several severe sensitivities and susceptibilities. Obviously, I trigger the tits off these twits just by being Beau—smarter, stronger, and more serious. And if you think you’re mad now, soon…
Omniscience