“Gather ‘round, hustlers, that’s if you’re still livin’! And get on down to this ole Jig’ rhythm! Here’s a couple of jewels to help you get through your bid in prison! A ribbon in the sky, keep your head high! I, young ‘Vito,’ voice of the young people! Mouthpiece for hustlers, I’m back, motherfuckers!” Shawn, sir, you’re allegedly a master at mostly metaphorical meanings, so you should be able to hear what I hear! Damn! Or perhaps, maybe you’re ultimately unaware of how manipulatable malleable minds are. Obviously, I mean your mind—not mine. I’ll do a quick breakdown here, okay? “Hustlers” can consist of every everyday Earthling chasing cash, cashing checks, or waiting for a direct deposit to drop. And working tirelessly to make a living and/or meet everyone else’s expectations stresses people literally to death every day. In other words, those that “hustle” the hardest typically stay stressed the longest, leading to lower life expectancy—amid low energy and less liveliness in the latter stages of their lives. And needless to say, so-called street soldiers who hustle illegally are almost always casualties of crazy criminal circumstances. So, the line “if you’re still livin’” surely suggests that “hustlers” die often, regardless of their ordinary occupational hazards. Continuing, and for the record, I’m a law-abiding citizen. But a war-ridden, wildly wicked, wasteful, worsening world confines common civilians to really restrictive rules and regulations—even the laws of physics. Right? Fun fact, “Ribbon In the Sky” is my forever-favorite Stevie Wonder song, and it’s one of the first songs that made me cry. Through all this nonstop nonsense, that I’ve experienced my entire life, I recently told someone seemingly significant about said song. But I digress. Of course, “Vito Corleone” is the primary patriarch in “The Godfather,” and he was the shot-caller or “mouthpiece” for the folks following in his fathering footsteps. What I’m saying is, times are about to change, sack-slinging Shawn, and so is the main human hustle. Because “I’m back, motherfuckers!” That’s right, cringe, cowards. Anyhoo, happy belated birthday to SZA, as I didn’t know her birthday was on the 8th of November—the date of my last published post. SZA, honestly, did you pray for that? Coincidence or conspiracy? You decide. Nevertheless, remember, I publish posts every other day at midnight, and that’s eastern standard time. Moving on, Co-opted Chappelle, feeling happy and humorous about the mainstream murder of a fellow free speech advocate like Charlie Kirk says something about your already completely corrupted and controversial character. Immaturity and insensitivity are common characteristics of comedians, especially the ones who’re generally gimmicky. And if you don’t know, your go-to gag is openly offending people for press—relevance and reaction. I bet you be bored as hell without stirring up shit storms with stupid shit to say, huh? This is random, but in my opinion, “Key and Peele” was a way better sketch/skit show than “Chappelle Show” ever thought about being. How do you like them apples? Also, stop smoking cigarettes, you cancer-chugging clown! Because you’re famous and fortunate, so what the figgity fuck are you so stressed about? Wait, don’t tell me that the hilarity hustle is weakening you and weighing you down. I mean, all you’re doing is sharing silly stories and smoking cancerous cigarettes, right? But there is the tiny town that you “own,” huh? Yet, why would that cause complications with your lovable life? Which queues the query, Dave, who hurt you, sir? Are you hiding heartbreaking memories or terrible trauma that makes you enjoy extreme evilness like seeing someone suffer a depressingly disturbing demise? Well, for me, your “God”—that I refuse to recognize—stole my childhood by basically training me to conquer the whole wide world since a young age. That’s a true story. In a sense, I guess one could say that my confusingly coincidental childhood with “God” was somewhat similar to how Joe Jackson did my man Mike. “Soon as they like you, make them unlike you! ‘Cause kissin’ people ass is so unlike you! The only rapper compared to Michael! So, here’s a few hatin’-ass niggas to fight you! And here’s a few snake-ass niggas to bite you! I ‘on’t even wan’ hear about what niggas might do! Old niggas mentally still in high school!” I wonder if Kanye West was talking about Eminem with that clumsy comparison. Because he himself hasn’t reached that level of love from fans, not that he doesn’t deserve it. Or maybe he’s actually alluding to another person without even knowing it, huh? Nah, my life story beats Mike’s with a big baseball bat for sure. Plus, I mean, as a wonderful writer myself, artistry comes with the territory. I’m not outright opposed to being the greatest all-around artist of all time. Still, I’d rather fly first. Or is that surprising statement mostly metaphorical? I guess we’ll see. Because soon…
Omniscience