“You are my lady! You’re everything I need and more! You are my lady! You’re all… I’m living for!” Rest in peace to Freddie Jackson—a cool, classic crooner who made magnificent music that definitely drove lots of lovers to conceive countless children. “Lady,” the suspicious signs are signaling something that could be either scary or soothing. Casual citizens of Earth can’t control fate or the future, so who has complete control? Diverging slightly, “What’s free? Free is when nobody else can tell us what to be. Free is when the TV ain’t controllin’ what we see.” That’s a small snippet from the hook of a contradictory, confusing song by Meek Mill, Rick Ross, and sack-slinging Shawn (Jay-Z). Ironically, relentlessly retarded rappers regularly, repetitively replicate and recreate the lost lives of gangsters, drug dealers, career criminals, and other foolish felons, infamous imbeciles, and notoriously nonsensical nitwits, numbskulls, and nincompoops. For instance, Kelvin “50 Cent” Martin was a rambunctious ruffian from New York, “Freeway” Rick Ross was a killer kingpin in Los Angeles, George “Machine Gun” Kelly was a gruesome gangster born in Memphis, Jim Jones was a crazy cult leader with roots initiated in Indiana, Al Capone was a murderous mobster in Chicago, Manuel Noriega was a demented dictator from Panama, etcetera, etcetera. There’s a predictable pattern with ambitious, avaricious suckers for fame and fortune selling their souls after being brainwashed into believing that crime pays. If “nobody else can tell [you] what to be,” why are you following in the footsteps of past people who forfeited their freedom or lost their lives living for money and the moment? If you’re only living for the moment, can a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment, deliberately dumb decision lead to the loss of your life, instant incarceration, or a major misstep that makes said life a living hell? Focusing on the future, or the idea of lasting longevity, prompts proactive planning in propose-driven people. Y’all, rappers be lying like honesty is humiliating. Are you soft or sweet because you want to get older? If your goal is gaining a good grip on a long-lasting life, why let petty, puerile, pathetic people persuade you to look at life like the faster it goes, the more fulfilling it is? That don’t even make no motherfuckin’ sense, does it? In my opinion, starting and sustaining stupid shit suggests that someone is suicidal. Which queues the query, what’s your life like? If any of you nonsensical niggas think you’re harder than me, you’re a severely stupid person! Everything y’all do is for everybody else. That’s why you make silly scenes and grand gestures when trying to prove points. That’s why you lie like honesty is humiliating. That’s why you perform and pretend even when nobody is watching. That’s why making more money and impressing impressionable people is immensely important to you. Now, going back to those laughable lyrics, if “the TV ain’t controllin’ what we see,” how will you impress the impressionable audience that you’re living for? Do y’all realize that performing and pretending comes with celebrity? You niggas create characters, embody their essence, pursue popularity as a permanent pretender, and live the rest of your life like that’s who you actually are! And oftentimes, those fake-ass created characters become real-life victims of the crazy circumstances that they mindfully made to impress impressionable people. Not only are relentlessly retarded rappers getting goofy-ass guys killed by being inimical, injurious influences—like the self-destructive and short-lived hateful humans that they emulate. But they’re also getting themselves killed by trying to top the inimical, injurious influences that they saw on TV! Like I said, y’all don’t make no motherfuckin’ sense. Now, as Chocolate Christ, I’m wondering why the figgity fuck y’all think my elevation and evolution requires recognition from regular-ass people for the realization that I’ve reached to be real? Do you know how I know y’all are stupid? It’s because you’ve believed in the Bible and your good-all-the-time God all your lives, but you don’t believe he’s good to the greatest people. What’s so special about you measly motherfuckers? God ghostwrites relentlessly retarded rappers’ lyrics! You mindless motherfuckers don’t even have souls! Fuck outta here! That’ll make much more sense later. Anyhoo, returning readers, I recently shared a doppelgänger of Jaz the Rapper, one of my favorite fans, and if you don’t know me, then you definitely don’t know why that shared suspicious sign was so significant. It’s because that cute copy of Jaz doesn’t just look a little like Jaz, she looks a little like me and Jaz—like we had a daughter. Shit, she actually looks just like us. Jaz, your “I’m pregnant” post popped up on my totally taken-over timeline days before the doppelgänger’s videos did the same thing. If that’s true, congratulations. Additionally, there’s other daughter doppelgängers, like Arabia from “It Is What It Is,” who looks a lot like me and Demaris. I’ve already shown “Lady” our daughter doppelgänger and explained this to her a few days ago. Remember, y’all God is the wacky-ass weirdo, not me. And soon…
Omniscience