So, some wandering wino woman walked up to me today as was getting gas and told me that I look like “a true scholar.” Then, she suggested that I should swipe my credit card to buy bubbly beverages for her to enjoy. Tough times to some are only ordinary occurrences for others. And that’s why hateful humans have a blast belittling, berating, and beating down those who’re almost always already “down in the dumps.” Believing that better means more is something that many mentally ill, miserable, meddlesome motherfuckers should crave to change. Impressing impressionable people is typically too important to those that think impressing people protects their preposterously pumped-up pride. In other words, prideful people’s inability to impress intelligent individuals pops their preposterously pumped-up pride. Yes, I’m an immensely intelligent individual, don’t hate, capitulate—concede, conform, and completely cooperate! What’s the biggest fish you’ve ever had to fry? Everybody knows the silly saying, “I’ve got bigger fish to fry!”, which implies that a separate situation’s seriousness supersedes a peeved person’s present problem, right? What’s worrying you right now that’s tiny compared to the shark-sized situation that I’m presently presenting pathetic, petty, puerile people with, and that they’ll need a tutorial to teach them to tackle? Bitch, only I could tell the tips and tricks in that tutorial! Big Boi’s bestie, Benjamin, Andre, previously posed the question, if “nothing lasts forever,” “then what makes love the exception?” It seems like y’all love seeing, showing, saying, and saving the same shit—over and over. Remember, change can’t come from conservation. Stop holding on to hope and clasp onto change for a change—for change. In my opinion, it’s always time to tell the truth. And if you love lying, you likely lie a lot, so let lying go and latch onto liberation. For the record, I’m not a problem-perpetuating, performance-preferring politician, so my promises aren’t part of a pretended portrayal of a powerful person, and I promise to always remain true to my motherfuckin’ self! Now, that may not mean much to too many motherfuckers, but I really respect me for regularly, repetitively remaining me. Your Honor, this southerner’s got something to say. Not too much, just a lil bit. Anyhoo, is there nothing new going on in nigga news? What about national network news? Wait, I’m really resourceful… And after a simple search, nope, it’s still the same shit—over and over! “I… was going under water, with three dollars and six dimes. Yeah, you may laugh, ’cause you did not do your math. Like, one, two…, three. The world keeps turning. Oh, what a day… what a day, what a day!” Do y’all know what else that means? It’s super simple, translation, “Life is a continuous cycle, and no matter what’s wrong with you or with the world, as long as Earth’s still spinning, there’ll be different days.” Oftentimes, you must love listening and learning to ultimately understand. And sometimes, “it ain’t that deep” is the stupidest shit someone can say. And again, do y’all feel the force? I want all y’all to please proceed pretending to be powerful people, because I barely even have to try. Even the wandering wino woman was throwing me the vibes, and I had toothpaste in my mustache. Nah, but she may have been fuckin’ with the Feds, ’cause she said something about me looking like someone from “TV,” also. Again, I tell the truest stories. And if the Feds weren’t following and fucking with me, then me constantly calling a thick-ass, tough-talking Jasmine Crockett “Juicy Jasmine” along with writing what such weirdos would refer to as radical rhetoric on a personal platform while I shun socializing because “Everybody’s Stupid” would definitely make me make some sort of list. Bitch, put me on the “Realest Motherfucker Alive” list and make sure I’m the only motherfucker on there! Because soon…
Omniscience