Barack Obama, never in this nasty nation’s number of noggin-numbingly nauseating years did I dream… that this nasty nation’s most notable nice nigga would work with the Feds to intentionally, indirectly insinuate that real niggas talk that talk to punk-ass, pussy-ass, petty-ass, puerile-ass people’s faces. I’m not narcissistic, by the way, I just leave ineradicable impressions on “powerful” people. But more importantly, how many shits should someone sit on a toilet to take daily, y’all? Better yet, how many steaming, stinky, smelly shits does prior president Barack Obama trot to the toilet to take regularly and repetitively? Everybody shits, sir! Right? What happens when those that take shits “don’t take no shit?” Shit happens! Conflicts, confrontations, convicts, commissary, etc. Those things commonly coincide, which is why we don’t need any asshole antagonists or insensitive instigators as present or prior presidents, correct? Barack Obama, I’m smarter than you, sir. It’s okay, Mr. Captain Change, I’ll take it from here. I’m going to do what you’re indubitably incapable of doing; I’m going to create change. How, you ask? Well, first, I’m going to convince the country’s Christian citizens that I’m Christ’s chosen champion by taking a note from Neo’s magic moment near the closing credits of “The Matrix,” and fuckin’ fly—metaphorically speaking! What if “impossible” is just a word—a nonsensical notion or idiotic idea? Is that an absurd assertion? What if it’s impossible for Barack Obama to save society, especially while the Secret Service still supplies security for former first families? What if it’s impossible for anyone assuming a position in the goofy-ass government to help humanity heal and ensure everyone evolves? Again, the “definition of insanity” strongly suggests that this thing everyone expects will work—giving grace to promise-breaking politicians who choose to collaborate with corruptors, crooks, con artists, and the country’s most crooked cops while they theatrically fuss and feud to take on the tradition of fed-up folks forever fighting for freedom—is as stupid as trying the same shit over and over and expecting changing conclusions. Barack Obama didn’t choose change; he chose to go with the game instead of going against the grain! And now, he’s a co-conspirator in a crazy conspiracy centered on me. Additionally, Captain Change is being exploited by the same goofy-ass government and country’s chief conspirators that gave him the opportunity to intensify the illusions that cause comfort and complacency amid ceaseless chaos, confusion, and control. If commonplace content creators, collaborating celebrities, and prior presidents are being supplied secret scripts by the same system that those prior presidents promised was completely changeable, doesn’t that mean everybody’s stupid? I mean, if Captain Change and big booty “Jake Jonez” are on the same internet jerking and jiving, or just carrying conversations in viral videos, who’s creating change? Me, that’s who! Imagine imagining that Christ’s chosen champion can’t carry on casually creating change while present and prior presidents create content. Neil deGrasse Tyson, the superstar scientist who studies stars, should see something here that most minds may not notice. Neil, another of the nation’s notable nice niggas, is it impossible for advanced aliens situated on a planet spinning significantly faster than ours to secretly surveil our shithole solar system with marvelous machines that allow easy, effortless rewinding and fast-forwarding through our past and future? Neil, what if we live in the past from superior, secretly-surveilling sightseers’ perspective, and everything happening now has already happened? I’m sure you’ve always wondered wildly with your changeless curiosity, Neil. And with your extensive experience, a lifetime of learning, can you recall change coming from conservation? Sure, someone stupid could absolutely argue that “conserving” the constant call for change—having habitual hope—can conjure changes, but that’s noticeably not what I mean. How can constants change? They can’t, right? It’s even in the definition, as Google states, and I quote, “A constant is a fixed, unchanging value or quantity.” Do y’all know what time it is? It’s time to shut the fuck up for a change—for change! Podcasters, politicians, pontificating personalities, prior presidents, petty and puerile people, news nerds, etc., y’all don’t want change! Instead, your constantly changeless asses want to preserve the privilege to lounge lackadaisically on comfy couches, swiveling seats, and company chairs and make money running your mouths—without worrying about all adversely affecting everyone else yet tediously talking about it. But soon…
Omniscience